Sometimes

Sometimes one has to sit back and wonder if what they are doing is what they originally intended to do. That is what I find myself doing right now. Over a year ago I was excited and up for what I thought would be a great challenge. Applying to write for the an online website. It seemed like a wonderful idea. Perhaps at the time it was. Maybe it still is. However, right now I am finding myself in a frustrated rut. One likes to feel appreciated, that's nature. Who doesn't want that feeling for accomplishment, pride in one's self, all those things that urge you to keep going? Those things that tell you what you're doing is right. What you're doing is making a difference. No this is not me having a pity party. Though I'd probably be entitled to just a small one at this point. I'm having one of those moments where I've got to sit back evaluate the current situation and decide what the next step will be. My theory in life is if it makes you happy you should do it. When it stops making you feel happy that just might be a sign that it's no longer worth doing.

Don't get me wrong I will always love writing. It's been a passion of mine since I was a child. For years I'd write novels that never really had an ending and probably to most they didn't have a plot. They kept me sane through dark times. My characters were my friends. At a time when my friends were few and far between. Then I began another passion a few years ago. Anyone that knows me knows that passion is - Pit Bulls. Yes I'm a newbie when it comes to the ways of the Pit Bull, the plight of being a lover of the Pit Bull. The other thing besides writing that has followed me all my life perhaps even longer then the writing is my stubborn and passionate nature. Maybe that's why I love the Pit Bull so much. I can see some of the traits in myself. When I finally combined my two passions with a touch of stubborn I became a writer for Pit Bulls. Hence how I got my start writing for a local title on the website. Then after awhile I wanted to branch out. I begged and pleaded for a national title. At first I was blown off so I gave it some time. I kept writing local and tried to prove to anyone that would pay attention that I was serious. Finally my Pit Bull stubborn attitude wore them down and I got the coveted title. Not only was I writing about my passion I had two locales to do so. Problem with writing for the website based news source is the fact that they have a set way of doing things. The other problem with them is though there's a set way there's always some 'wonderful' new way of doing things that comes up. They totally hype up the new way and then quickly scrap it for another way. Always leaving this writer and maybe countless others wondering what is expected, how do we please them, and when are we going to be taken seriously.

I've had a few hiccups and bumps through the process and almost gave in to the pressure and walked away. Then again I am not usually a quitter and often it takes a lot to push me away. Though I am stubborn I'm sensitive. Sometimes I don't take things the way they're intended or sometimes I over think something. Whatever the case, I can't give up. The dogs need me to be there for them, and I need to be there for them. Together we need to prove to the world what they're missing if they have not met a Pit Bull. Show people what it is to be loved by one. Show the entire world that deep down a Pit Bull is just a dog (but don't tell them that) and an amazing one at that (they know that already). Pit Bulls need our voices they need someone to fight for them.

Where does all this lead? Not a very easy answer. I'm going to have to do some thinking and decide if I can take the constant issues. I'm tired of feeling like I'm not reaching the masses, not being appreciated for what I bring to the company, and I'm tired of feeling this way. This is after all something I'm passionate about and something that I truly love to do. Maybe it's something I need to continue to do but somewhere else...

No matter what my decision - stay or go - one thing is for sure. I will not give up my passion for Pit Bulls and writing about them. I'll focus my passions where they can do the most good. I'll spread my wings and find other ways to promote and get my points across. There's other forums out there, other avenues not taken, other mountains not climbed. I may step down from this particular project in the near future but it's only the end of a chapter not the end of the book. The book is not written, it's not complete and I will write. 

For now my writings will be posted here where they were originally. My sanctuary, my rules, my opinions, my love, my passion... Stay tuned.